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Main >> News Listing >> June 2004 >> Article ID 5140
 Christina In The Week In Weird | Type: Internet Article |
| | The Week in Weird | Jun 04, 2004 | by David Sprague
Summary:
... You can't help but think about a rousing game of badminton whenever Christina Aguilera comes into view, you're in luck because reps for the sporty singer have filed a trademark for the official Xtina birdie-and-racket set. We're not sure how soon such an item will reach the market, since the Dirrty Girl's people have also sought trademark protection for a veritable Wal-Mart's worth of items, including panties, contact lenses, crayons and...
Read On For The Whole Article. |
Blondie bag a blonde, Madonna bites her tongue and more
When we first heard that Debbie Harry insisted on having the scheduled opening act go on after Blondie at a show in Amsterdam last week, we thought the songstress had taken that old "age before beauty" maxim to heart. As it turns out, however, the peroxided punk godmother was actually pitching a hissy fit when she refused to allow M.A.S.S. to take the stage, since the band's singer broke the cardinal rule of sharing a bill with Harry -- by being born with blonde hair. M.A.S.S.' manager told London's Daily Mirror that Blondie's "people" apparently didn't realize that singer Justine Berry was flaxen-locked because "the band sounds quite punky and heavy metal," but when the truth was revealed, Harry balked, citing a contract clause that limits the number of blondes at her shows to one: her. We can only imagine the fit she'd have pitched if someone got between her and the deli tray...
Seeing as she's fast approaching the stage when she'll be trading those fishnets for support hose, Madonna is indicating that she's ready to pass the flesh-flashing torch. The Material Mom is crafting a line of peek-a-boo threads aimed at the pre-school set, with mini-skirts and see-thru tops scaled down for girls as young as two. Just to prove that she's taken that Kabbalah teaching about duality seriously, Ms. Ciccone has also put the kibosh on cursing on her current world tour, with tart-tongued offenders forced to drop five bucks into a swear jar every time an expletive is uttered. We can only imagine what the fine might be for improper use of an Evian bottle . . .
If, like us, you can't help but think about a rousing game of badminton whenever Christina Aguilera comes into view, you're in luck because reps for the sporty singer have filed a trademark for the official Xtina birdie-and-racket set. We're not sure how soon such an item will reach the market, since the Dirrty Girl's people have also sought trademark protection for a veritable Wal-Mart's worth of items, including panties, contact lenses, crayons and -- appropriately enough -- Christina Aguilera antiperspirant. There's also mention of "electronic multiple activity toys," but with fish-in-a-barrel season some weeks away, we'll let that one slide . . .
Since we've often thought it'd be swell to put together a special law enforcement agency to deal with the growing problem of tribute bands, we found our interest piqued by news that British officials detained the guitarist of a Clash cover combo called London Calling. Unfortunately, the bobbies weren't interested in putting a stop to ersatz Strummerisms; they -- in a staggeringly good imitation of the Bush administration -- intercepted a text message between the band's guitarist Mike Devine and vocalist that contained a quote from the Clash's "Tommy Gun" and deduced that the two were hip-deep in the world of terrorism. Detectives stopped Devine as he was leaving work and subjected him to extensive interrogation before recognizing the error of their ways and -- we can only guess -- putting out an all-points bulletin on Omar Sharif . . . |
 Source: Rolling Stone | |
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