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Main >> News Listing >> July 2004 >> Article ID 5428
 Reigning princess | Type: Internet Article |
| | Reigning princess | Jul 12, 2004 | by Dan Deluca
Summary:
Simpson would seem to be the clear, come-from-behind winner in the blond-teen sweepstakes that began in the late 1990s, when this Mickey Mouse Club reject emerged in the shadow of better-packaged Britney Spears and better-voiced Christina Aguilera and, the brains of the bunch, Mandy Moore. |
The world, it would seem, is Jessica Simpson's oyster -- or at least her own personal can of Chicken of the Sea.
Evidence of the expanding empire of the bubblehead blonde is apparent everywhere.
First and foremost, there's "Newlyweds," the hit show that chronicles connubial conflicts between Simpson, 23, and husband Nick Lachey, 30, he of the patience of Job and the second-rate boy band 98 Degrees.
Currently in its third season of ubiquity on MTV, the show now has viewers pondering how long it will take Casey, Simpson's live-in best friend, to drive Lachey insane.
But there's so much more: Simpson has ad campaigns for Pizza Hut (with the Muppets) and Liquid Ice breath mints (with little sister Ashlee, who has her own MTV reality show); she has a deal with ABC for more episodes of the "Nick & Jessica Variety Show," which drew big ratings on Easter Sunday; and she stars as Daisy Duke in the upcoming "Dukes of Hazzard" movie, for which, she has promised, "to get my butt really perky -- I'm doing squats every day."
Then there's Dessert, Simpson's line of edible body lotions ("You wear it. Then share it"), and of course, a clothing line is in the works.
And, oh yeah, I almost forgot: There's also a CD, "In This Skin," which bombed when released in August but, buoyed by "Newlyweds," has now sold more than a million copies.
With all that exposure, you'd think Simpson's concert tour would be an instant sellout, with her small-screen fans dying to get a look at her in the flesh. But apparently that's not the case.
What gives?
Simpson would seem to be the clear, come-from-behind winner in the blond-teen sweepstakes that began in the late 1990s, when this Mickey Mouse Club reject emerged in the shadow of better-packaged Britney Spears and better-voiced Christina Aguilera and, the brains of the bunch, Mandy Moore. Back then, Simpson mainly distinguished herself as a professional virgin who had the vapid va-va-voom look of a porn star, but seemed clueless about her career.
Now, though, with Spears' and Aguilera's summer tours canceled because of injuries and Moore's movie career struggling, Simpson has come off as the savviest of the bunch, parlaying her ditsy persona into TV viewers' hearts as she famously acted surprised that Chicken of the Sea wasn't chicken, and just last week told Casey that male ballet dancers were called "ballerinos."
She is the modern-day equivalent of Judy Holliday in "Born Yesterday" or Eva Gabor in "Green Acres" -- the comically gifted bombshell next door who's so high-maintenance you thank your lucky stars you're not married to her.
And yet, nobody seems the slightest bit interested in paying to hear her sing. That may seem surprising, given Simpson's status as an omnipresent celebrity, not to mention her first-place finish in Maxim magazine's Hot 100 this year.
But really, it makes perfect sense. Simpson's image as a voluptuous good girl with a predilection for middle-of-the-road balladry never squared with the demands of teen divadom.
These are the days of multi-tasking celebrities, so it's only natural that once Simpson established her clout on the small screen, she would get back to the business of making music. But as "In This Skin," which employs nine different producers on its 13 tracks, attests, she's never been very good at it.
She's got a great big colorless voice, and makes bland, impersonal music, and desecrates the two perfectly good songs she covers: Robbie Williams' "Angels," and Berlin's "Take My Breath Away."
In an effort to boost sagging ticket sales, Simpson has been telling interviewers that her show won't be a typical song-and-dance affair -- she'll show clips from "Newlyweds" and outtakes for the variety hour, and will take questions.
She may play a dumb blonde on TV, but she's smart enough to figure out that her singing isn't going to be enough to satisfy her fans. Her problem is that her fans aren't so dumb, either, and know better than to pay for what they can see on TV free. |
 Source: The Whicita Eagle | |
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